When the Metta teacher needs Metta
I believe we all teach what we need to learn- over and over again, I am not talking about mathematics. I mean that anyone who offers classes/instruction/information/support for growth to others, ( not that learning math is not a growing experience, say I who barely passed my math classes ); we offer these tools to the world because we need them too and sitting with others, or standing, or zooming or roaming the world’s stages, we again become a beginner.
In the midst of covid-life, in the midst of life feeling like a roller-coaster tilt-a-whirl, I find that my most sane and centered moments happen when I sit with those who attend my Loving Kindness meditation class each week via Zoom.
Today I was overwhelmed, too much rushing around, too much doing, too many phone calls to return, blessed I am by so many people who want to connect, but some days are really just some DAZE.
Messing up my password I locked myself out of the room I was hosting-don’t ask- then an angel disguised as a long time mindfulness practitioner, whom I have only just met in April when I started my zoom metta offering- well this angel rescued me, signed in on her account, invited me, turned over hosting to me and voila we were able to hold class.
I went from frazzled, dazed and annoyed at myself to my calming, serene presence that knows how to hold the space, pace my voice, soothe everyone’s overwhelmed state-and for 45 minutes we are all at peace; opening our hearts to ourselves first,(this is not lost on me as my heart was not open to frazzled me, my inner critical choir was having a field day); then on to the neutral person, the benefactor, the difficult person, then a beloved, then to the world. “Imagine your heart opening to all who live beyond your neighborhood, this loving kindness, this secret blessing, spreading across the state you live in, all across this vast and troubled nation, beyond our shores to encompass all the womin, men and children we share Mother Earth with; the creatures we share the planet with; imagine your heart opening as wide as the sky and as deep as the ocean. Embracing all in loving kindness regardless of who they are, who they worship or don’t, who they vote for, embracing the rainbow of diversity of each man, womin and child. May all beings be at peace, may all feel safe, may all have joy, may all have ease and may all be healed.”
I ring the bell, as the tone flows into silence everyone turns on their video, we wave goodbye, no words needed to distract. I am at peace for the first time all day. My gratitude for the presence of all who joined me a blessing beyond words.
